Typical short term solutions to conflict resolution:
1. Ignore the conflict – can be appropriate if you don’t have all the information available, maybe it appears like a conflict but it’s not, a wait and see approach may be useful here.
2. Giving in – resolves the conflict but next time the giving in party will be expected to give in also, not a long term solution.
3. Win/lose – power struggle, even if you win you create a loser.
4. Split the difference, neither party really happy both parties a win/lose situation.
A better way to achieve conflict resolution:
5. Win/win co-operation
- share the problem,
- uncover actual needs
- identify creative solutions together which will solve the problem (solutions which don’t include elements of 1 to 4 above)
Dealing with the x-paths in negotiations
Some people desire control by pushing buttons in others to make them act with no empathy for the individual they are targeting. There is also little concern for what might be socially acceptable but there is awareness of what is socially acceptable so the threats are often done in secret or without being able to be proven.
Acting under a feeling of being threatened is not likely to create the best decision outcomes which is what the x-path wants, this enables them to control the targeted person and the situation. When possible step back or remove yourself from the situation for enough time to work out what a reasonable person would do – it completely dilutes the power of the x-path in trying to control the situation.